Ever since I could remember, I’ve always hated having things in or near my mouth even brushing my teeth makes me feel uneasy— and kissing is a big problem.
Unfortunately, my current boyfriend feels kissing is not passionate enough unless we both use our tongues. I often resent this and he’s starting to think I don’t love him because I don’t kiss him ‘properly.’
Of course, I love him and I’m sure there are better ways of showing this. Any ideas?
Lara, by e-mail.
Dear Lara,
A strong reaction such as you have is often the result of something nasty that’s happened to you in the past.
It could be that when you were very young, you were made to eat something you didn’t like or you had a bad experience with chewing sticks or the dentist.
Now you have a phobia of things near your mouth.
You need to talk to a professional, who could help you rethink the past and put the ‘something nasty’ in perspective.
In the meantime, let your boyfriend know of this fear and together, you could beat it.
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