Joyce story just breaks my heart. Joyce went to church on
this particular day in 2007 and ended at a church member’s house who knew fully
well he had HIV and insisted in making love to her without a condom. That was
how her story changed. Though she’s living through it and married at an HIV
carrier, not everyone will be as lucky as Joyce. Read her story below as
narrated by her on DSTV’s AfricaMagic channel.
Living with HIV virus
I have lived with HIV/AIDS virus for seven years now. I
contacted the disease in 2007. But I’m just a normal person. When people meet me
and tend to find out how I’m feeling, I always tell them I’m a normal person.
As a matter of fact, I visited a school to educate the
students. After talking to them they were keen to test for HIV. I also joined
the queue and got tested but it was negative. It means one must stay with one’s
medication forever. Regular medication can make it read that way. It doesn’t
mean such a person is no longer a career.
How I got the disease
I contacted the disease in 2007, through a member of my
church. I was to spend a night with him in his house. When he removed his
clothes, I saw some kind of rashes all over his body. I was terrified, as I
innocently asked him why he was like that. He covered up, saying it was a minor skin infection and
that it was nothing serious. But when he wanted to make love to me, I insisted
that he must use condom. He told me that he didn’t like using condom.
However, when I insisted, he agreed but he never used it. He
removed it while entering into me. We did it several times that night. After few weeks, I became pregnant for him.
When I told him, I was pregnant, he advised me to abort the baby. But I
refused, insisting on keeping the baby.
He later warned me that if insisted, I would have myself to
blame in future. I never knew what he meant until I was diagnosed HIV positive.
He also infected other ladies in the church before he died.
Growing up
Growing up was in a very poor background. I discovered my love for music and dance. I
was very ambitious, passionate about my dance skills. All efforts to get help
to go to school failed. I was vulnerable, most times raped. I had to attend all
kinds of events in my neighbourhood to exhibit my skills in dancing. In my case, there was no one to confide in. I hawked all
kinds of things to make ends meet’.
Why she became HIV/AIDS Awareness advocate
I was driven by the need to help other carriers of the
HIV/AIDS virus. This is because most AIDS patients are brought to the hospital
when they are almost dead. Victims find it difficult to undergo medical test to
determine their HIV/AIDS status.
I realised when people get to know about their HIV status at
the early stages and they are put on medication, they wouldn’t die. They would
live their normal lives. So, I decided
to use myself as an example. That was what motivated me to begin the campaign
against HIV/AIDS virus.
Platform and the benefits
I started sensitising the people on the streets. I went to a
business district in Accra, and my purpose of going to the area was to share my
story, as well as sell some copies of my music which I had on CD to enable me
realise some money to feed myself.
The first person I approached when I got there shouted, and
never allowed me to utter a word. The moment I mentioned I was HIV positive, he
shouted at me, and warned me to leave the place immediately. But I wasn’t
discouraged.
Later, I went to Dacuma, another area. At the place,
whenever there was traffic congestion, I would start to tell my story, “I’m HIV
positive, you have to be very careful with your life,” I would start.
In addition, I had copies of my CD, but nobody was buying
them from me. Some people thought I was lying, and that was when I met a
certain pastor in the a traffic. I was moving from one vehicle to another,
sharing my story with who cared to listen.
When this pastor heard me, he parked and was ready to listen to me.
Then, he was running a TV programme in Amsterdam. At that
moment, he took my contact, and later, he sent me some money to process my
International Passport. He told me that he had a TV station as well as a radio
station in Amsterdam, and he would want me to come over there and share my
story the way I did in the traffic. Without hesitation, I applied for visa and
travelled to Amsterdam in 2010. That was how my story changed.
When she returned from Amsterdam
I returned from Amsterdam to continue what I started in
Ghana. I was invited by different organisations. Later, I travelled again to speak
on the topic “30 years of HIV, the way forward.”In 2012, I went for the AIDS
conference in America.
Recently, I was in the UK, where I premiered my movie, “My
Cross Roads” which captures my story. The movie was first premiered at the
National Theatre in Ghana and it recorded a huge turn out of dignitaries. The
storyline of the movie is basically about me. It’s a true life story of Joyce
Dzidzor Nartey but currently, I have a new movie in the market titled, “Jewel
of the water.”
HIV Husband and wife
Before we got married, my husband was educated about the
deadly disease. But he is also a carrier of the disease. At the moment,
medically both of us are negative to HIV virus. This is because we have been
put on medication for long.
But that does not mean, we should stop taking our
medication. Even though we test negative now, we keep taking our medication. We
had one child together who did not test positive to HIV because of the
medication.
Life after contacting HIV/AIDS virus
That’s not the end of the world for any carrier of the
HIV/AIDS virus. There is life after contacting the deadly disease. The HIV
virus can be found in the semen in the man, and not in the sperm because the
sperm is what goes to form a baby. It doesn’t carry the HIV virus, but the semen
is what contains the HIV virus.
So, HIV positive man who is on medication can share sexual
activity with an HIV negative woman, and they both can produce an HIV negative
baby. You can see that there is life after contacting the HIV virus.
HIV positive man can marry an HIV negative woman, and they
can still make babies without him infecting the wife or the baby, just as an
HIV positive woman can also marry an HIV negative man. There are a lot of
couple today who wouldn’t come out to share their stories, but who are living
with HIV/AIDS virus. They are keeping the secret to themselves.
Marriage life
Marriage for me was normal but they say, in every marriage there are challenges. Things have happened in the past which I wouldn’t want to talk about here. Talking about the stigma, there was one day, my seven-year old son came from school and told me to stop that HIV thing that I am doing. According to him, his friends said, they wouldn’t play with him because his mum is HIV positive. There are challenges but life must go on.
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